March Fieldnotes
Water consciousness, butterflies & vintage Africa
Growing notes: Hey guys, just a little heads-up, I’ve had a change of heart. I’ve decided to continue sharing some of my fieldnotes publicly and keeping others just for paying subscribers. It really just depends on what I’m writing and how close to home it feels. Some things I’m happy to put out there for everyone, and others feel like they need a bit more of a protected/more closed space. So I’ll be figuring it out as I go. Thanks for being here while I learn and find my rhythm. For now, I hope you enjoy March’s fieldnotes!
Spring & the Achy Yearning for Community
March arrived like little whispers of spring, subtle at first, then all at once. What began with just a few yellow butterflies soon turned into forests buzzing with bees, blooming with colorful flowers, and fluttering with even more butterflies. When the rain paused, the sun showed up with warmth, I even managed to sunbathe for the first (and last) time during our stay in the little nest. It was delightful.
With all the rain, the river running through the property came alive, its sounds could be heard everywhere, like a choir singing praise for the new life all through the trees. Even though we’d lived on the land for two months at this point, it wasn’t until March that we wandered a bit deeper and discovered… a whole damn waterfall. A personal waterfall. How? We fell in love with this place even more. As a Cancer and a Taurus, this spot has fulfilled all our dreamy, earthy, watery, cozy needs. Winter into early spring here has been such a blessing; soft, abundant, and magical. A wild, aligned manifestation of exactly what we had hoped for and more for these past few months.
Now, as we prepare for the next big roadtrip toward our final caravaning destination, Portugal - we feel nourished and ready. But indeed, life had one more thing before we could leave.
Our beloved car, Magdalene or (Saint Magdalene as she was officially blessed by holy water by Delphine’s second mom before our trip), started acting up. Stiff gear issues? Sis, I don't know but it looked bad. And the quote we received from a big chain garage? Now that was almost as much as we paid for her in the first place. But Delphine, being Delphine, worked her magic - calling everyone except God himself, gathering names, suggesting and tips from locals. That’s how we found Ali.
Ali’s garage was tucked on the side of a busy road, small and overflowing with cars like the sick to a holy temple waiting to be touched by divine hands. We, like many, arrived on a prayer, driving through wild forest roads, steep and winding. But when we got there, the welcome was instant, warm smiles, cheek kisses, hugs and sincerity. As passing cars honked hello and people across the street shouted their greetings to Ali with smiles, we knew: this man was loved and trusted by the community. That alone was the best review we could’ve asked for.
Ali dove straight in, showing us what was wrong, walking us through everything, reassuring us with the calm of someone who knows. Turns out, we didn’t need to replace the whole part, just a thorough cleaning, some oiling, a little tightening. He fixed the gear issue and checked out a few other concerns too, explaining everything like a knowledgable uncle guiding his nieces. Our hearts were so touched and we felt that we and Magdalene were in trusted hands.
This moment - this tiny, tender act of care from a stranger, made me feel so ready for the next season of our life. The dream of settling somewhere and starting to build our community. Finding our local mechanic/garagist, our baker, our favourite corners of town or village, our farmer, our doctor. Knowing who to call, where to go, and feeling safe in the hands of people you know care because they don't just belong to their jobs but to the communities they serve.
We were strangers in this little town, wide open to being taken advantage of. But instead, we were met with kindness. With people genuinely trying to help leading us to the next person; someone’s friend, someone’s uncle, someone’s beloved neighbor, someone’s dad. And now, thanks to Ali, we too will join in the tradition of honking as we pass his garage, a small gesture of deep gratitude from strangers who were welcomed into the warmth of a local world.
Experiences, Beauty & Change
Allow yourself to journey back to self
Another theme that’s been very present this month: beauty and the exploration of it.
On my youtube channel, I shared a video talking about allowing ourselves to grow into our own unique beauty. So often, under capitalism and patriarchy, we’re taught that beauty is always on the other side of something: something we need to change, buy, shrink, lighten, cover up. But so few of us are encouraged to meet ourselves with patience and self-compassion. To sit with the discomfort we may feel toward certain features and instead of rushing to “fix” them, to ask:
Why do I feel this way? Who taught me to hate this part of myself?
As an African woman raised within Eurocentric beauty standards (which, to be fair, makes sense given that I grew up/live in Western Europe), I had to be honest with myself. I realized after giving the chase a go, that a life of chasing those ideals would only lead me to misery, and alienation from myself or even, the truth of ourselves.
As I shared in my video, through personal decolonization, I started to understand my body’s messages instead of judging them. The stretch marks, the breakouts, my height, my dark skin, all of it was communicating with me. These were signs of needs, imbalances, shifts. With understanding came grace. With grace came appreciation. A body that cared for me, why would I not do the same for it?
In choosing a different lens through which to view beauty, I began connecting with my own body type, not in spite of, but because of the story and heritage it holds. That shift in mindset was the real healing. No serum at Sephora could’ve ever given me that.
March 21st also marked my 5-year loc anniversary, and yes, we’re still going strong! I love my locs more with every season. The simplicity of caring for them, the groundedness they bring, the way they feel like long, intuitive antennas - always tuned in, always guiding.
This journey has changed me. It’s taught me patience, care and trust. Even when I noticed breakage at the ends and panicked, even trying to reattach them, I eventually remembered why those parts were weakening. It was a moment of clarity: sometimes, it’s wisest to let things fall away. To understand the impact of past actions on the present. To learn. To release. To soften into the lesson with, again, grace.
Reflection & Explorations
Mental & Spiritual: Ideas/Thoughts/Learning
So, I have been really into spiritual science lately and my newest exploration has been water and consciousness. Okay, so I have to share about the things I’ve been learning about water, and that has been blowing my mind. You know how people always say things like “energy is everything” and “thoughts have power”? Well, water too literally responds to energy and intention.
I have been revisiting the findings of Dr. Masaru Emoto. He did these experiments where he exposed water to different words, music, and even emotions, then froze it to look at the crystals under a microscope. And get this: the water that was exposed to positive words like “love” and “gratitude” formed these gorgeous, symmetrical crystals, while the water exposed to negative words or harsh music looked all chaotic and broken. This means water is literally listening, holding memory, responding to the energy around it. And since our bodies are mostly water, imagine how deeply our thoughts and words affect us.
So basically, water holds consciousness. And since we’re made up of, like, 60% water, imagine how much our thoughts and emotions are shaping us on a physical level, even our health? It reminds me how important it is to be intentional with the energy I put out, toward myself, toward others, even towards the water I drink. Some people even use this idea for healing, speaking affirmations into their water before drinking it or using sound vibrations to change its structure.
I’ve been learning more about how monks and priests pray over water to bless it, think holy water - and how it can actually take on those healing frequencies. And it makes sense, right? If water responds to words and emotions, then praying or setting intentions over it literally changes its structure and influences whoever drinks it. There’s even this famous doctor (I need to find his name again) who, during a time when medicine was scarce, just told all his patients to drink more water. And a ton of them actually got better. He thought maybe they had just been dehydrated - but now I wonder if it was the intention they drank it with that played a role in their healing. They believed that drinking it would make them feel better as the doctor had said. That’s what really got me. Like, what if healing is so much simpler than we think, but we’ve just forgotten? Living and loved water can positively impact the state of your body and health?
I even did a little experiment myself! I took regular tap water, affirmed love and gratitude into it, let it sit in the sun, and when we drank it later- it tasted so sweet and soft. I swear, it was like completely different water. Now, I’m trying to be more mindful when I drink, when I eat, even when I’m washing dishes or showering. Just little moments of gratitude, thanking this incredibly wise, living force that holds us, keeps us, feeds, heals and teaches us.
I’m honestly so excited to explore this more. It just feels such a profound yet simple truth, you know?
Devotion over discipline:
Lately, I’ve also been shifting more from discipline to devotion in how I approach my dreams and goals. Instead of forcing myself to follow rigid structures, I’m choosing to practice grace and connection, showing up with love rather than obligation. Studies also show that willpower is a finite resource, but intrinsic motivation, rooted in love and purpose, creates sustainable momentum. Instead of forcing rigid routines, I’m choosing to practice grace and connection, showing up with love rather than obligation. Devotion activates the dopaminergic reward system, making meaningful habits feel fulfilling rather than exhausting. When I focus on why I’m doing something rather than just making myself do it, everything flows more naturally. This shift is making my work feel lighter, more joyful, and honestly, more meaningful.
Film & Music & Reading
Watch:
Dr. Emoto Water Documentary: To continue on the exploration of water. The documentary is a fascinating look at water’s consciousness and how it responds to energy and intention. As a living force with so much power
Bamako: I have been craving watching more African francophone cinema and this one had been on movies to watch for a while. It is a powerful and poetic piece of African francophone cinema exploring neocolonialism, capitalism and the search for justice.
Black Girl: Another great classic I rewatched - the exploration of the dream of a better life west, the reality of life in the west and the devastating and deadly cognitive dissonance. A striking exploration of the harm of buying into the western lies and promises, identity, displacement, and societal expectations.
The White Lotus: Season 3: My partner and I were so excited about the newest season and so far, it has not disappointed. The series is so well made. Everything is immaculate, from music, art, angles and tempo - another chapter of privilege, pretence, power, and paradise gone wrong. We can't wait to see how the season is wrapped up.
The Substance: Continuing on the exploration of beauty - one of the most disturbing films I’ve seen in my 35 years on earth. We were both horrified and speechless, questioning whether its extreme vulgarity was necessary. Only to wonder if it was a raw depiction of true self-loathing and destruction. The real horror perhaps, wasn’t in the grotesque imagery but in the beauty standards and ageism that demand women constantly transform just to feel worthy. How it all fuels a cycle of inadequacy, self-hate and self-erasure. A film that truly is unforgettable but one you might only need to watch once if you even can make it through that.
Listen:
Lijadu Sisters - Come On Home - I fell in love with these iconic sisters and their vision while researching vintage and high-life Afrobeats. This song is afro-whimsical, meditative, nostalgic, a sonic memory calling you back to the motherland. A beautiful and infectious tune that blends Afrobeat with smooth 70’s Afro-disco? Listen, I’m clearly not a music writer, I just feel things. Just listen, okay! Listen here
Ear Orgasm: Thandiwe by Shamzisto - Now this track right here? It’s a vibe. I love listening with my eyes closed. The clicking sounds literally vibrate through my whole body. One thing about South Africans, they never miss when it comes to music. Wanna dance? Meditate? Think? Cry in a language you don’t understand but somehow still feel in your soul? The kind of song that makes you believe in reincarnation because it’s clearly singing about a moment you once lived but can’t remember? Yeah… it’s that kind of track. Listen here
Actual Gay-Panic - KWN - Worst Behavior ft Kehlani – The chemistry. The heat. The passion. The angry frustrated desire? Everything about this song and the visuals, oozes, yes. Yessss. It’s the kind of track and video that makes you blush, like you just walked in on something way too intimate. That strong “I want you, like yesterday” energy? What?! And not to be some hotep but also fully dressed (apart from the floating lady in the back😆). Simply beautiful. FIRE. Listen here
For that succinct feminine righteous anger - 2. APRENDER A AMAR - Nathy Peluso| GRASA - This vibrant artist is one of my favourite finds in March. I then of course went on a listening spree - and then once again, like with Rosalia - I feel the desperate need to learn Spanish ASAP! Listen here and here
Personal Notes (Reflections & Future Considerations)
“Mom, I Got My First Paid Subscriber on Substack!”
A sweet milestone just a few months into this journey! It honestly feels so moving to have people believe in my work enough to back it, with their real money! Like… what?! I feel so blessed and hyped. Your support means the world.
Finding an Illustrator for My Book:
While traveling and wandering through local markets in France, I stumbled upon an artist whose work moved me. We had a chat and even connected online. Months later, as I’ve been building my children/adult book concept, she popped back into my mind, so I reached out. She loved the story, and now we’re exploring a collaboration to bring this vision to life. I’m beyond excited to see how it unfolds!
Art I Made That I Love:
One piece I want to shine a little extra light on is my last post: “Women are raised for community and men for each other.” If you missed it, now’s your chance to check it out. I really loved writing that one because those had been scattered thoughts that I could finally put into one piece!
Spring Drop for BBB Studio in the Works:
I’m currently prepping some juicy new prints for the upcoming spring release this April. Can’t wait to show you what I have been creating for my universe and those who resonate with it!
Slower Creative Upkeep & Getting Back on The Road:
This month, we’ll be doing a full road trip down to Portugal, so my focus will mostly be on caring and upkeeping rather than building out new projects. I’m riding the momentum of recent launches and giving more energy for pruning and caring for what is already created.
I’m intentionally keeping the to-do list light, knowing that travel will already be a big, exciting and filling part of the coming days. And honestly? I’m just so happy to be doing what I love, watching my digital spaces grow with care, intention, purpose, and joy. While living on the road? What???
I wake up excited about new ideas, about tending to my work with curiosity and love. I'm leaning into more holistically balanced ways of creating, practicing intentional devotion and trust, slowly nurturing all the corners of my ever-growing digital garden.
For now, no other notes - just trying to fully enjoy this corner and moment of my life.
